If you are having a lot of personal distress due to anxiety maybe you would like to attend for counselling. Your anxiety may be associated with nausea, headaches or anger. You may also find you are drinking a lot of alcohol or smoking weed to help you with anxiety. You may have been prescribed drugs to relieve your anxiety but do not want to stay on them forever. The good news is that with a few sessions you can learn techniques that will help you obtain relief from anxiety without the need for drugs. You just need to make the choice to retrain your brain and the results are so worth it.

Recently I was in my local garage buying petrol and the newspaper and the assistant asked me if I wanted to do the lotto. I said “I do not gamble”. I thought of those with a gambling addiction facing this every time they filled up with petrol. Unlike other European countries, every pub in Ireland seems to have a betting shop beside it. A friend told me he was in a pub – which does not have a betting shop beside it – and there was a man in the pub with a laptop taking bets. Last year, I went to the country tracing my family tree and we went into a pub for a coffee. There was a one-arm bandit machine and from the time we went in a man was feeding money into it. Us three were the only customers. Every now and then the man would get change of a €20 and keep feeding the machine. There was a rugby match on the tv which distracted us. Then a woman and a young boy entered the pub and tried to get him to leave but he would not. The young man behind the counter saw all this and when the woman and child left he gave the man change of another €20. We were so uncomfortable we had to leave.

Gambling is socially acceptable is considered harmless. Reasons for becoming a gambling addict are many – although some feel it is hereditary – although I have worked with gamblers who said no one in the family gambled. I would say – as far as they know – no one gambled – but there is a lot of secrecy in families.

It is so easy to gamble now – with online gambling – online bingo etc

Gambling fills a void – it gives a person control over one area in their live – the frightening thing is it can develop gradually – the rare winning keeps the person going

Side effects: depression – psychosomatic illness – cannot concentrate on work or on family – and in severe cases can lead to suicidal thoughts or even suicide attempts

The good news is any one with a gambling addiction can make a choice to STOP

Help is available from
http://www.gambleaware.ie 1800 753 753

or if you need one-to-one brief solution focused therapy or psychotherapy – please contact me

What is mediation – this is something as a mediator I am often asked. The definition of mediation refers to conflict resolution with the mediator as non-judgmental and totally impartial.   For me, the best part of mediation is seeing people at the end of the mediation being able to shake hands or even hug.  I remember when they came for the first session they were barely able to be in the same room together.

What is Mediation – it helps people to deal with their issues in a safe environment.  They are listened to by the other side and by the mediator.

It is sad if people do not take the opportunity to attend mediation or counselling and end up in a situation where they cannot communicate. One issue which may then arise is that one parent may try to turn the children against the other parent.  I meet many adults through my work who report that their parents turned them against the other parent. This is called parental alienation.  These adults report that this was emotional abuse.  What is mediation – another definition is that it teaches people the skills to communicate better.  In this way it is hoped that parental alienation and resultant emotional abuse of children may be avoided.

As a couple your relationship may be experiencing many problems such as:

infidelity

communication problems

sexual dissatisfaction

power struggles

resentment

conflict avoidance

discontent

Research has shown that it is not these problems that will lead to a breakdown in your relationship but “the reduction in expressing sentimental feelings, the reduction in positive emotional relationships and your sensitivity to each other”. Ahmadi, F.S., Zarei, E. & Fallahchai, S.R. (2014)

If you decide to come to me for couple counselling I can assist you to rebuild and change your relationship using Emotional Focused couple therapy and William Glasser Choice Theory for couples.

For further information on Emotional focused couple therapy you might like to read the following article.

Ahmadi, F.S., Zarei, E. & Fallahchai, S.R. (2014) “The Effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

http://jems.science-line.com/attachments/article/21/J.%20Educ.%20Manage.%20Stud.,%204%281%29%20118-123%202014.pdf