Parenting Plan\Schedule after separation

Some parents need the help of a mediator with a co-parenting plan\schedule after separation.

I no longer work with couples on financial matters but I am happy to help parents with co-parenting. Children can experience loss and grief when their parents separate. When a co-parenting plan is put in place that both parents agree to, it can help avoid blame and negative feelings on the part of the adults and this will assist the children in their grief.

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In these unique times, when it is not possible to meet for face to face counselling – online counselling may be an option you would like to try.

I have always offered online therapy as it suits some clients who prefer the comfort of their own homes. Even before the Covid 19 lock down, many clients with problems such as isolation, disability or social phobia preferred to connect online.

If you have any issues – such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, relationship difficulties or sibling\family conflict – you might like to take the opportunity to connect with me online. I am a fully accredited counsellor and psychotherapist, mediator and family therapist.

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If you are finding it difficult in these unique times with family conflict, family disputes or sibling disputes – you might be interested to know that conflict resolution, family mediation and family therapy is available on line. There are plenty of helpful ideas available on line to assist individuals and families to deal with stress and anxiety. You may feel that you, your siblings or your family could benefit from a non-judgmental mediator or family therapist assisting you all to deal with the issues that are stressful at this time.

If so, as a qualified mediator and family therapist\counsellor, I would be delighted to help you.

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It is totally normal to be anxious during these unique times. Some things we can do that are evidenced based to relieve anxiety are :

1. Breathe through your nose (using one breath) for the count of four – then breathe out through your mouth (using for one breath) for the count of eight. When we are anxious or have negative thoughts, we breathe in more than we breathe out.

2. Acknowledge the anxiety and negative thoughts with compassion and kindness to yourself and then say “Do I need to worry about this now” We tend to worry about something in the future – we almost never have to worry about the negative thought now – at this present moment.

3. Visualise – close your eyes and keep a nice picture in your mind for a minute. This really helps anxiety. If a picture does not immediately come to mind – you can look up a photo or computer image.

4. Learn to accept uncertainty – unexpected things happen and accepting this in the longer term will make your life easier and reduce your anxieties.

Go to sleep early, eat nutritious food and any type of exercise

Sleep is the ultimate healer. Nothing can make a molehill look like a mountain more than lack of sleep. Eating well and any exercise (such as body balance, yoga, marching, walking etc) increases self-esteem, self-confidence and a sense of empowerment.

Be kind to yourself: Stay in the moment Most of us in one hour spend one minute in the present and the 59 minutes in the past or future. Try to refocus on what you are doing in the moment – what you see – what you hear – what you notice. When you are washing your hands as we have to do much more than we ever did – try and be totally in the moment – feeling the water on your hands, the bubbles of the soap, the feel of the towel or tissues or dryer on your hands. You might also use hand cream for self care. Another good tip is to be mindful when eating – to enjoy every mouthful.

It really helps to make the choice to be nice for yourself. Listen to your favourite music – read a magazine, watch your favourite programme, watching something funny on You Tube. Try and treat yourself the way you would a best friend. When we are anxious we tend to be a bully to ourselves.

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Family conflicts happen in the best of families. Sometimes years pass and the issues are still not resolved. There is a cost to the parties when disputes continue.

In some cases the family members in dispute say they are not bothered but other family members find the conflict hard to deal with.

A quick internet search lists many famous people who are in conflict with their father or brothers, etc.

In my experience as a mediator of family disputes, the people in dispute do not contact me. It is always other family members or health professionals who contact me about family dispute mediation.

The great news is when the parties involved agree to come voluntarily to mediation with me as the mediator – they always reach agreement. The aim is that it is a win\win situation for all concerned. Surprisingly, it only takes one session to resolve the issues.

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Low Cost Counselling for Trainee Counsellors and Psychotherapists

Starting on the journey to become a Counsellor and Psychotherapist is very expensive. In addition to the tuition fees and books, as a trainee counsellor and psychotherapist you must undertake 50 hours mandatory personal counselling.

I am delighted to offer low cost counselling for trainee counsellors and psychotherapists in Dublin. I use a wide range of theoretical approaches – including Person-Centred therapy, Integrative approach – Humanistic, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Mindfulness and Compassion, Inner Child healing and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy\Counselling. Art Therapy and Sand Tray therapy are also incorporated into the sessions.

I am also very aware of the research carried out which shows the importance of the counsellor being the right fit for the client and the most important thing is the relationship between the client and the counsellor. I am therefore happy to offer a free meet and greet session to you as a trainee counsellor to see if I am the right fit for you.

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Family Therapy and Mediation for Family Estrangement

Family breakups are hard. Young teens may decide they do not want to meet one of their parents, perhaps through loyalty to the other parent. After many years of being estranged it can be extremely difficult to meet up. That is where Mediation and Family Therapy can help. With an impartial and neutral mediator the family members are able to focus on the future they would like to create. I am working in this area for a long time and from my experience, families need only one or two sessions to resolve the issues.

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One of the requirements of a counselling training course is that trainees must attend mandatory personal counselling. This can be expensive and time consuming. It can also be emotionally demanding. I am pleased to offer a reduced rate to trainees. Included in the counselling is art therapy, sand tray therapy, person centered counselling, solution focused therapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Choice theory and mindfulness. Trainees are able to see what works well for them and are able to bring this into their own client work.

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I have many years experience mediating disputes in the community. Mediation is an ideal forum for community disputes as it means that the focus is on the search for satisfactory solutions to conflicts.
Through the use of community mediation each people is heard. As a result there is the opportunity to transform the relationship between the parties.

What I also find is that those who take part learn the skills of mediation. As a result they are regularly able to mediate when conflict arises. They have the ability and the motivation to find long-lasting solutions to their conflicts.

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If you have been impacted by the arrival of your adult “boomerang” child or children you might like to consider mediation. You may be an adult child(ren) and are encountering issues since returning to the family home.

Mediation is a non-judgement, impartial service. In my experience the issues which are causing such an impact on the lives of the parents and the adult children, can be easily resolved through mediation. I find that when the family members agree to sit down together in the safe environment of a mediation session the issues can be dealt with in one session, or at the most in two sessions.

I have a lot of experience in this area and I would be glad to send you details. It is an inexpensive service and the families I have worked with all agree that they got a win-win result.

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